I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve wrote. But I can believe it too. Everyday since about february has been pretty much the same. But it’s been a lot worse the last few months. I feel the worst i have in a long time. I just don’t care any more. I’ve given up. I’m never going to get better. I feel anguish, fear, paranoia, anger, and frustration. I quit. I can’t go on feel like this any longer. it’s just the same everyday. i can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not even a tunnel but a big black hole. sucking everything good into it and away from me. praying used to save me, but now even that is failing me. it was the one thing that helped me hang on and i feel like it’s been taken away. i hurt. i have no idea what to do.